Perfecting Imperfection

I feel like I could relate to her decision, so much so, so much said that I had been wanting to say. Not that it's necessarily life changing, more along the lines of life tweaking, something small that makes a big difference.

I have a confession.

I have a scrapbook that I haven't started because I'm afraid that the pages won't be perfect. That I have to get better before I start. But how do I get better if I don't start? But what if I start and it's all wrong? What if I look back years from now and think of how crappy my scrapbook looks, picking out all of the flaws?
But what if I never start, and those memories are not recorded?
The issue here is that I need to start, and learn to accept the imperfections. One of the things that I enjoy most it to look back at pictures that were kept in albums. History recorded. The other day I was given an album from my aunt that had a picture of my parents when they were dating.

DATING.
Also, the album contained a picture of my dad's first car, and oh the stories it provoked from my mother about that first car.
A picture of my grandparent's wedding anniversary.
Showers thrown before my own parent's marriage.

Those are so precious to me. They are nowhere close to perfect. And in that, lies the secret. Someone was willing to splay out their imperfect record of day to day life. Of what mattered to them. And what was reflected to me, was the perfection of a imperfect world. A perfect gift. I'm not as concerned about giving future generations a gift, but to keep a record is something that is important to me. I get so much joy and realize so many blessings in being able to look back at the chronicle of my life so far. I don't live in a perfect world, so I should not expect that my pictures need to be edited before they are shared, my words don't need to be publishable before they are written, and my scrapbooking skills definitely do not need to be flawless before I have even started.

100.

She asked my dad to take a picture of us smiling at one another. I think it shows us enjoying one another.

Eyes that have yet to see even one full year looking into the eyes that have seen 1oo.

She is 100. 100 years here. 100 years of life.

Moments.
Relationships.
Struggles.
Triumphs.
Laughs.
Tears.
Experiences.
Heartaches.
Joys.
Loves.
Prayers.

Today marks her 100th day. Although she often does not remember me at first glance, she eventually realizes who I am. One thing that is striking to me is that she always connects with my voice. When I call her Gram Clock, she knows it's me, her youngest granddaughter.It's odd that on this, her 100th day, it really does not matter that she doesn't recognize me: she has worked her way through this world and is prepared for the next. She may not always know me, or others that she once knew, but ONE that she always knows is HIM. She still knows HIM because HE was always there with her. HE was included. She made the choice to walk with HIM, to follow HIM. Not only is she still aware of HIM, but also of HIS WILL. She told me a few months ago that she had never planned to live this long but that this life is what HE had planned for her. She hears HIS voice and knows that HE is near.

Auntie's Little Helper (don't mind the bed head)

This is very interesting...and yet, confusing.

Are you sure about this thing?

I could really get into this...

Yep, homework isn't so bad with a good study buddy.

studying in bed should NEVER be trusted.

One of my continuing goals is to learn more and more about taking decent pictures. While this goal is often sidelined in lieu of studying, I do sneak in a blip here or there to further my progress. Today I was browsing and found this tutorial. I know a lot of people advise getting to know your camera but this girl broke it down in a way that was short enough to grasp but detailed enough to get something out of it.
Now...back to the homework!

A Decade Down.

Upon turning 25, the loveliest of best friends reminded me, that how-cow-how-did-this-happen?, but, we had been friends for nearly 10 years, a decade! For some reason this had not crossed my mind, at all, until she brought it how. How was that possible? How had I let 10 years fly by, unnoticed? Also, I was totally overwhelmed by what a blessing this friendship has been. How comforting is it to look someone in the eye who has also looked back at you in your 17 year-old-eyes (is anyone in there???), 21 year-old eyes (umm, you did what?!?!?! and are you sure that was a good idea?) and now today (gosh you're old!), is still right there with you? What changes have taken place over those 10 years? I started thinking about how we both had changes, how our families had grown close, how our geographical locations had changed, our daily lives have changed, our means of communication had changed, the lessons that we have learned, the lectures we've given one another, the issues that we have mulled over and bounced off one another. What a journey. Like a ribbon delicately woven through the path of life to create a strong, protective, safety net.

St. John of the Cross:

"Wisdom enters through love, silence, and mortification. It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others."

I found this on a blog during Lent. I felt like it pertained to me and what I am striving to do, especially now, when nursing classes seem more competitive than ever. It is so great to take the wisdom of a life that has gone before and know that at some moment, that person, felt the exact same way that you feel at this moment.

Coffee Overdose

Dad says this to me after I'm feeling guilty about pouring my fourth cup of coffee for the day.

"Coffee beans and human beings are meant to be the best of friends."

He said that it used to be on a Starbucks commercial. It just made me smile.

Make-up Mishap

I had a little issue yesterday morning with makeup. You would think after so many years of being a "big girl" this wouldn't be a problem. I swear, I was just minding my own business going about my morning routine, when suddenly there was a huge streak of mascara lashing out at my eyebrow. What? How did this happen I wondered? Further proof that I am, as they say, special.
I figured I take an after picture to prove that I rectified the situation and did not go to the hospital with mascara smeared across my face. We're trying to look professional, right?

Happy Easter

Easter always brings a renewed sense of hope. For me, there always seems to be lots of challenges related to the period leading up to Easter; Lent always presents with particular struggles that stretch me and grow me and make me more dependent on Him. Not to say that Easter relieves me of my need to rely on Christ but it gives me a new view of how possible it is to rely on Him and to know that He is taking care of me even when I cannot take care of myself. The walk towards Easter is a time for me to remember what the whole point is, what the GOAL is and how much has already been sacrificed with me in mind. With that being said, Easter Sunday is always a time of peace for me. One thing that I can compare it to (in a very rough, small way) is finishing a long run, completing a task that didn't seem possible, completing a tiring journey - and somehow owing all of these successes to Someone other than yourself.
This morning mass was a packed house. As I sat in church I looked around and wondered what brought each person there this morning. I wondered if it's allegiance to an elder in the family, the memory of a childhood tradition that has fallen victim to the busy schedules of today, guilt, reunification, need for forgiveness, gratitude, curiosity, habit. . . or was there Something more? Someone more? I hope that no matter what brought all of them in this morning, that for some, even if only one, a change was initiated, a fire lit, to continue the relationship that was started this morning. If someone were to come to your house and explain to you that their Son had just given up HIS life in order to save yours, wouldn't that gift have a completely and wholly life altering affect on your life? Would it change the way that you lived? Would it change your relationship with that man's Father?

My Valentine

I have been meaning to get this post up for a long time but I hadn't taken any time to muck with the pictures. When Andrew asked me what I would like as a Valentine's gift I told him that what I wanted was one day in which he would let me take any pictures of him that I wanted and he would do everything that I told him to. Request granted. While I have so far to go, it's fun to get the practice with my camera. Especially on such a awesome person! Okay, I'm only slightly biased.